Reboot your relationship with fresh ideas and new ways of being.
Is there an area of your personal life that is causing frustration or pain? Are you yearning for things to look and feel differently? I specialize in helping clients foster better relationships with themselves and their loved ones. Through sex therapy, couples counseling, or individual work, together we will uncover unhealthy patterns of relating that are keeping things stuck. Using straight talk and practical, common sense tools, we will address and rectify what needs to shift, while emphasizing and solidifying what’s already working well. Together we will do the kind of work that produces positive, lasting change and help you find clarity, authenticity, and fulfillment in your relationships.
Sex Therapy, Couples Counseling, & Psychotherapy for Grownups
“It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” -Henry David Thoreau
I am invested in helping you create and maintain a positive relationship with yourself. Our work together will teach you how to stop beating yourself up with negative, attacking self talk, and form a practice of radical self compassion, especially in the face of perceived imperfections and making mistakes. Individual therapy will also help you identify recurring themes and long standing patterns in your life. This allows for a better understanding of yourself and your interpersonal dynamics, and enables you to find creative solutions to what previously seemed to be stuck. With renewed compassion for yourself in relationship with loved ones, we will explore how to hold appropriate boundaries with others, how to speak up for yourself with both strength and tenderness, how to repair when things veer off course, and how to listen in a way that your partner feels heard and understood.
Break the cycle of resentment, frustration, and disconnection and get unstuck. For good.
Most of us in love relationships tend to get caught in an ugly cycle from time to time. I will help you identify negative patterns of behavior and interactions that are causing disconnection, address and heal the traumatic underpinnings that are keeping your relationship stuck, and learn new tools that will increase intimacy, trust, and sense of safety between you.
Together we will do the kind of work that produces lasting change.
Your erotic life, and all the ideas, judgements, feelings, and preconceptions you carry around about it, matters.
When there’s one or more aspects of your sexual expression that feels stuck or problematic, it can be really helpful to talk it through with a trained professional. I am knowledgeable and comfortable helping you address delicate areas of your life. There is never any touching involved.
I specialize in helping couples navigate desire discrepancy and discover creative solutions for a low-sexual marriage. Together we will talk about the messages you got growing up about sex, gender, and your body, and work to dismantle any lingering stigma, body, or sexual shame.
Sex therapy is also used to deeply support those who are navigating the impact of extra-marital relationships. Perhaps you have recently discovered your partner’s infidelity, wanting to better understand your own forbidden liaison, or are looking to find solutions for consensual non-monogamy or polyamorous configurations. I am comfortable and experienced exploring matters of the heart and its often seemingly oppositional needs.
I am further committed to safely holding space for anyone working through any kind of sexual trauma. I see clients across the gender and sexual spectrum, including those in the LGBTQIA and/or kink communities.
INFERTILITY AND THIRD-PARTY REPRODUCTION
"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do." Brene Brown
Trying to function in day-to-day life while struggling to conceive can be immensely stressful, exhausting, and anxiety-producing. I am dedicated to serving and supporting people who are trying to become parents. I have specialized, extensive post-graduate experience and training in infertility and third party reproduction, and am LGBTQIA affirmative.
With compassion, sensitivity, and a breadth of knowledge about the infertility experience, I assist people grappling with diagnosis, treatment options, and decision-making about alternative family building or childfree living. Together, we will identify and highlight personal and relational strengths, work to diminish stress and anxiety, and bolster positive coping skills. I further encourage self advocacy, healthy communication, and thoughtful decision making.
I often conduct psychological evaluations for intended parents who plan on using third party gametes, embryos, or a gestational carrier. This informal interview is typically a required part of working with an IVF or fertility clinic, especially when utilizing donated sperm, egg, embryo, or gestational carrier. Not intended to act as a gate keeper, this session instead addresses such potential issues as secrecy vs. privacy, who and when to tell about the child’s birth story, the decision whether or not to reduce if deemed necessary, and exploring parental responses regarding spontaneous splitting or multiples. It is often a chance for partners to discuss their feelings about parenthood, and to gently uncover any discrepancies or differences on important matters that may not have yet been discussed.
ABOUT SARA OKMAN
Raised in Vermont, I spent my 20’s and much of my 30’s in New York City as a prominent voice-over artist. But after one too many “failed” relationships, I took a lengthy solo trip throughout India and Southeast Asia. This induced a transformative soul search: I needed to figure out how to bring the success I had easily found in my career into my personal life, and find better, healthier ways of being in relationship.
So after receiving a BA from the New School for Social Research in NYC, I got my masters in family therapy (MFT) from Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. While there, I counseled dozens of individuals, couples, and throuples at the Center for Sex Therapy, and Council for Relationships, the oldest and largest couples counseling center in the US. I have had extensive post-graduate training in couples work, sex therapy, and fertility counseling, including advanced training in EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy), the Gottman method, and Imago Relationship Therapy with Harville Hendrix.
Now, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#97466) in private practice in both San Francisco and Mill Valley. I am currently studying couples counseling and sexuality with Esther Perel, and am working towards certification as a Relational Life Therapist with Terry Real.
Let me share what I’ve learned with you. I will help you identify and unravel stuck interpersonal patterns and ways of being, while highlighting and emphasizing your personal and relational strengths. I specialize in helping people find clarity, authenticity, and fulfillment in their relationships with their loved ones and themselves. Contact me for a free 20 minute phone consultation and find out if we could be a good fit.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Find Your Answers Here
HOW LONG ARE SESSIONS?
Individual psychotherapy sessions are 50 minutes long, typically held once a week. I try to give 75 minutes for couples counseling sessions, and see my couples either every week or every other week depending on need and circumstance.
DO YOU ACCEPT INSURANCE? WHAT ARE YOUR FEES?
I don't accept insurance directly, however, I'm happy to give you what's called a 'superbill' so you can get full or partial reimbursement through your insurance company. I also accept HSA cards, which allows you to use pretax dollars for your healthcare. Rates are $275 for a 50 minute session. Cash, check, credit, HSA, and PayPal are accepted. Contact me for more information or if you have any other questions.
I'M OUT OF TOWN A LOT. DO YOU DO SKYPE OR LONG DISTANCE THERAPY SESSIONS?
Yes, I do. If you are a resident of California, I'm able to offer video or phone therapy at your convenience.
HOW DO I KNOW IF WE'RE A GOOD FIT?
I offer a free 20 minute phone consultation to see if we're a good fit. You'll be more relaxed in our first session knowing that you feel comfortable talking with me about things that really matter, and that I can be of help to you.